So much for my happy ending…
It’s been more than six months now since I had this rift with this friend, whom I’m gonna refer to here as Lovely Jessica (to protect her privacy. Hahaha) We started off well (or so I thought…maybe I blinded myself to believe that everything was bliss coz I’m such a sucker for happy endings). And then things fell apart…we ended very badly. It hurt so much coz we’re friends and I never thought that things would roll downhill that fast between us.
To this day, it still hurts when I remember all that transpired. No matter how much I try to see the speck of beauty that Lovely Jessica and I shared for a while in our friendship, I just can’t see it–all I see is the ugliness and all I remember are the bitter memories.
I was hoping before that we could settle things and work things out. But as time went on, I realized that she’s not the type of person whom you should expect a lot from because she’d only leave you hanging…she’d only disappoint you. I thought she was the kind of person who’d be there in one snap of a finger. Never thought that she could disappoint me this much.
She never said sorry for what she’s done…but I think at this point, that’s far too light to outweigh the damage that she’s caused me.
We still have so many things to settle between us…but I don’t know when we will…everything looks bleak now…but for now, it’s better this way for I’m not ready yet to talk about those things between us. That’s why I really hated it when this one untrustworthy person tried to reconcile us. Ugh. Maybe at this point, forgiving her would be too much for me to do. OR maybe, it all depends on her. I think whatever it is that will happen between us in the future all lies in her hands. It’s all up to her how she will handle those things and issues between us. I’ve done so much for her. It’s time for her to do something for me…that’s her call.
You know who you are, Lovely Jessica.
Today is the day after yesterday and before tomorrow…
*We had the first meeting for the case filed against a math professor by some junior math students and mass com graduating students a while ago (ahem, I’m part of the ad hoc committee investigating the case…maybe it’s a sign that i should go to law school…oh, f*** signs! They’re not true). I was late for like 15 minutes (blame the noon traffic at Taft? Or blame my high tendency to procrastinate…hehehe). I hope something good comes out of this case…in favor of the students. I was never under that professor being petitioned, but I heard a lot of things about her. She has this reputation of being "irrationally terrorist"…she would personally attack students. I had some really sucky profs that I just wanted to stab in the head before and I thought of filing a case against them. But knowing that the university is suffering from bureaucratic obesity, I never attempted. Furthermore, it’s so hard to get the support of the other students. They’re scared that the professor would retaliate. No one was as foolhardy and irrationally courageous as me (that’s why I get into a lot of trouble. :D) I hope that when I read the verdict, I would go like, "Off with her head!!!" (as my babe, Shy told me.)
**I went to the IAS SC office thereafter to help with the writing of narrative reports of projects and programs we had. I was leafing through the files of those projects…when I realized that time flies by so fast. "It was just like yesterday when we were in this office, trying to get to know each other. I remember I was very quiet and was only talking to Danilo (IAS business manager)," I told Anne, our treasurer and now the VP of the same org. (she deserves it…she’s very hardworking! Kudos to you, baby Anne!) I looked around and sighed. "A lot of things happened in here," I told myself, almost teary-eyed. I remember I spent most of my time there when I was going through what could be the WORST, WORST, WORST period of my life! What’s funnier is that Anne is wearing the same body spray that I had when I was going through that effing s*it. So it virtually brought me back to that time. Until now, whenever I remember those times, I can’t help it but cry. It’s so painful…ahh, there’s nothing like it. It still hurts. I don’t know when I could fully heal…
***Before leaving the school, Vic, our president and now the VP of FEUCSO, and I went to room AB 308 to check the chairs if his number was really there. Some mysterious caller is bugging him, telling him that he found Vic’s no. on one of the chairs in AB 308. I told him that person was just bluffing, but he wouldn’t listen. In the end, we found out that the mysterious caller is gay. "See? I told you! He’s your admirer. You should be grateful that someone admires you!"
Oh well, it’s easier said than done. I had one psycho stalker…at first it’s kinda flattering to know that someone admires you in whatever way…but if the person pops out anywhere you go, then it gets scary. I had to use my brother to drive that psycho away! Hahaha! 
****Before finally leaving the school, Vic, Anne and I went to the pol sci departnement and I saw two hardbound copies of our thesis!!! I took it, opened it…I wanted to cry…I can’t express the feeling in words…I mean it felt like seeing your first baby or something (when I told this to Vic, he said, "Why? Did you already give birth? " Haha! Figurative language, my friend.) It’s the concrete representation of all the hardship I went through during my last year in college. SIGH.
*****When I finally got out of school, I headed to 711 to buy something to eat. A group of students (also from FEU) came up to me and said, "Ate, you’re Nesrin Cali right?" I was surprised…I was thinking, "Uh-oh, did they already see the Nesrin Cali scandal?" Haha! Kidding. Commercial. Anyway, I answered in the affirmative. Then they started to introduce themselves one by one. I was just nodding as they told me their names, still confused about why they were doing that. "I’m sorry, but have we met before?" I asked. "Oh, we saw you during the Bamboo and Mojofly concerts. You’re awesome, Ate!" "Oh, I see." I couldn’t help but smile and feel overwhelmed…that’s so humbling. "Ate, picture?" said one as she took out her phone. "No problem." We had a photo op in the middle of Morayta street. Hehehe. "Thank you po, Ate! Galing nyo po!" they said as they left.
SIGH. I’m sure that’ll make me smile every time I remember it.
hApPy!
God, I can’t contain my happiness…I’m just so, so, so grateful to everyone who helped me achieve all these things…to Allah, most especially.
I’m just so happy (yeah, there’s no other word to describe how I feel) that my friends and my family love me so dearly. They’re all so proud of me. I’m so happy to know that my Mom and Dad love me so much. My Dad wouldn’t shut up, talking about me to everyone! Hahaha!
When I get the time, I’ll post a long, long entry to thank everyone. So watch out for that…you might find your name in there. Hehehe.
Alhamdullillah!
Hay…
I know you’re tired of hearing me say this, but I still don’t know what to do after college! Waaah! I’ve already started looking for a job (no, not call center stuff…I’m not after the money) and I’m gonna be taking the entrance exams in two law schools. MY GULAY!!!
Right now, I’m just trying to enjoy whatever it is that’s happening to me now. I’m just so happy…and so happy for my friends…for my batch. I’m really gonna miss those guys.
I never thought that my college life would be this interesting. I thank my parents for sending me here to study…because I’ve met people who’re very, very, very different from the people I grew up with. I am so grateful to have met all of them. I know there were some who caused me agony or tried to bring me down, but I’m still thankful because they’ve made me stronger and prepared me to meet the DEVIL in the future. Hehehehe.
I’m still enjoying the title of being Summa Thurman. Hehehe.
Hi, I’m Summa Thurman…Uma Thurman’s right ankle. :D
takfhga’erphgaegkanefvoha erfuj4239-50384760q5iyg mier u903rut j34i3u4t093qutajrigaer0gu509ut903q5t 93ut9034ut90u45-u4ut69jt09qug905u90gu5g 95ug95gim 95ug945ug0]95guq]5ug]q943u10]4ut1]09u40]913u460]19u460]9!(U!($&(*@!)*!)#*)!*$U RJIWR(!!!
Yes, I know that didn’t make any sense! Hahahaha! I’m just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
HAPPY! ECSTATIC
Why?, you ask.
No, I didn’t smoke pot.
I’M GETTING MARRIED THIS JUNE!!! BWAHAHAHA! I finally found the one I’ve been looking for! An 86-year-old filthy rich shiek from Saudi! OK, you know I’m kidding. My heart still belongs to, ahem, Samuel L.Jackson. Hehehe.
A lot of things happened yesterday. My friend told me something about this villain-in-almost-everyone’s-life concocting schemes to bring me down and tarnish my reputation. Well, I’m not affected coz I know who I am (a talking pig hehehe). People know who I am and I’ve been nothing but true to them. I don’t need to explain myself coz people know who’s telling the truth. OK, enough about it. It’s making my blood pressure skyrocket again.
And then I received a text message from our department head. It read like this:
"U r our pride. Ur not magna anymore but summa. Congratulations!"
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I was with my beautiful angel, Angel G and Mommita at that time. I let her read the message, we were both screaming! I wanted to cry but I just felt so ecstatic and thankful that I couldn’t help it but smile and laugh and be in a party mood! Hahaha!
I know some people will think that I’m bragging or something…it’s not that. I just feel so grateful and happy coz…I’ve been through a lot especially in this last year of my college. You don’t wanna go through what I had to go through…problems all piled up…it was as if they were molded into a cluster and thrown at my face without warning! They seemed endless…just when I’d think that my suffering was over, another problem would come up to bother me! It’s not the title of being "summa" per se that’s important to me…it’s not the thing that I’m happy and proud of. It’s just that…it’s the perfect reflection of the hardships I’ve been through and how I overcame them and emerged victorious (of course with a lot of help from my family, true & best friends <you know who you are>, and Allah!). That’s what makes it so significant..that’s what makes it such a big deal for me.
SIGH…after a long, dark, gloomy, morose night…the sun has finally come up to shine on my drained, decrepit, debile body. Alhamdullillah!
Ya Allah, I’m so overwhelmed…and humbled. Thank you for this…and you even made it more special coz you placed me on top of all IAS graduating students. That’s really something, Ya Allah…thank you for without Your permission, none of it would be realized. I don’t know what I’ve done in my life to make me deserve all these blessings…not just this but my family, my true & best friends that I’ve found, who’re truly more than blessings in my life…Shukran, ya Allah, Shukran. I will continue to share all these and use them to help people around me…and I’ll always keep my feet planted on the ground, like You’ve always commanded us to do. Alhamdullillah!
Congratulations to the lucky 13! You guys deserve it!
Mishu!
This is the best way to tell someone that you miss him/her. It’s truly unique. This one is for you…
"The End of an Act"
TEAM AMERICA THEME
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark,
When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point,
And that’s an awful lot boy
And now, now you’ve gone away,
And all I’m trying to say,
Is Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school,
He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part,
He’s way better then Ben Affleck.
And now all I can think about is your smile,
And that sh**ty movie too,
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies.
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked,
Just a little bit more than I miss you.
*Hahaha! That’s something.
What do spoiled milk & policemen have in common?
NATURALLY "YOGHURTIZED" DRINK
*This morning when I went to school, I bought some milk in a small, plastic bottle. When I opened it, it looked kinda…thick. I thought it was some yoghurt drink or something. When I was about to gulp it down, I was like FU*K! It was spoiled. EEW! I went back to the store, enraged and asked them to do something about it. Fortunately, they returned my money. Stupid people! They should know when they should pull out spoiled foodstuff. UGH!
CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH LIVE CROCS
**No, I didn’t jump in a swamp full of ferocious crocodiles. The crocodiles I’m talking about are some morally corrupt, greedy, unscrupulous, fat policemen, with Santa-Claus like bellies (which manifest their being such greedy, sinister, diabolical, vile creatures!)
The other night, I took a cab on my way home. The driver did some minor traffic-rule violation. Unfortunately, there were some crocs on the watch in their patrol vehicle. They asked the driver to pull over, get off the car and go to where they were parked. "Oh no! Here we go again!" I thought. I knew what that meant. In this country, if you get caught by a policeman committing a minor traffic-rule violation and he asks you to go down and get to the spot where he is, it only means one thing: he wants you to give him money for his "nightlife"–to go to a pub where he would spend his night (instead of doing his job).
When the driver came back, he was wearing a very heavy face. He was fuming and cursing. He told me that the crocs took P1,000 from him, which he worked for the whole day. I felt so sorry for the old man. If only I could do something…
It’s not the first time that I witnessed such anomalies of these crocs. It happened to me a lot of times and it’s really frustrating. Guess I just have to let the law of karma work.
It’s so disgusting. They’re supposed to be the law enforcers but with what they’re doing, they could hardly be labeled as that. This is the biggest reason why this country is in the pits. I lose my sanity every time I think of all the deep-rooted problems this country is burdened with. UGH!
*** So what do spoiled milk and policemen have in common? Well, they both stink like shit!!!
****I don’t mean to put all our "law enforcers" in a bad light. I know there are a very few who really know the meaning of a true law enforcing agent and I don’t mean to discredit them. But let’s accept the fact that a substantial portion of these people are corrupt and immoral. Very few of them deviate from the common, negative characteristics of policemen in this God-forsaken country. That’s the sad fact.
Music in my mind
I just finished jamming with myself for 3 hours…it’s been a long time…it felt great as usual…there’s a certain euphoria…a state of elation I get whenever I play music
I never thought that the songs I wrote when I was 12 would be appreciated by so many people right now. "Hey You" is almost 8 years old…when I wrote it at that time, I never thought that its sound/melody would still be relevant today…I mean a lot of people kinda like it when they hear it…it has won me some competition…I’m really humbled to know that people find it as "a great work of art from a beautiful mind" as one friend said. It inspires me to write more songs (which I’ve been doing for the past few weeks…hehehe). "You Are" is 7 years old. I can’t believe that people who listened to it liked it. It’s just so overwhelming to know that your work is being appreciated by others…hahaha, I thought they actually suck!
I’ll be writing more…I’m really overwhelmed that some people have even asked me to write songs for them! Til now, I’m not done with them…hehehe.
I’m really grateful that God gave me this gift…and I’m grateful that I can use it to entertain and touch people’s lives.
Change: The Sole Permanent Element in Life
Last Wednesday, the lower years (1st, 2nd & 3rd) of FEU Pol Sci threw the annual "farewell" party for us. As usual they told us, the graduating batch, that we had to proceed to the venue for a "graduation orientation". I kinda smelled it already, but I didn’t wanna spoil the excitement that they were feeling to "surprise" us. So I just played along. Hehehe.
It went very well. The lower years presented really laudable dance and song numbers. Like what has been done in the past, they gave out "awards". I won 2: "The Best Camwhore" (one who’s obsessed with taking pictures of himself/herself) and "The Best In-the-Dark-Room-Scene" awards. Hahaha! Just kidding. I got one for "Academic Excellence" (huh! If only they knew! Hehehe) and "Breakthrough Artist". Wow, I thought I was at the VMAs. I really appreciate it.
There were some funny awards given out too, like the "Political Maturity" award. At first, you’d think that it would be given out to someone who’s very knowledgeable about the course…but it was actually given to our classmate who’s about 35 years old. It was so fun. Ma’am Reyes and Angel both gave their "farewell" messages. I was teary-eyed. 
I sang with the other Pol Sci officers…"Goodbye Girl". Coz baby goodbye doesn’t mean forever…
I cried at the end of the program…I was hugging my thesismate…then I suddenly thought that I would be missing all that hard stuff we went through…SIGH
Oh well…surely, nothing in this life is permanent…it has a very transitory characteristic…change is the sole permanent element in this life. Gotta get used to that…
Priere envers une diete pour tu…
Like ferocious waves crashing on the shore
Thoughts of you came rushing in my head
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore
Visions of your sweet face I adore
Like the vehement persistence of a stubborn child
They would not leave my perturbed mind
I prayed unto God to put me to sleep
Oh please, leave me and let me sleep in peace
Like a vanquished warrior, losing the battle
I thought of you and all that transpired
Instead of cursing you and dwelling on my pain
I raised my hands to the skies and whispered a sincere prayer
Like the sweet voices of angels in prayer
I asked Him to just take good care
Of the person in my mind at that very moment…
May you realize all your dreams and get what you truly deserve
