Nesrin Cali’s Series of Fortuitous Events: A Deconstruction
“Well, you study hard. Don’t give up on your dream of becoming a lawyer. You’ll be a great lawyer, I can see that. It fits you,” he said, like a grandfather.
I. INTRODUCTION
Life for the past few months hasn’t been so kind to me. It’s been jam-packed with too much drama and whatnot that it sickened me. It’s been like one of those Mexican (or even Filipino) telenovelas in which conflicts abound—before one could descend to its denouement, another one sprouts. Just when I’d think that it’s over, I’d end up facing yet another uglier, bigger monster, looking me straight in the eye, and challenging me—What now, lady? Are you going to fight me or run away…or allow me to crush you on the ground? The “fighter” person that I am, I’ve chosen to take the first course of action. But I have to admit, given my humanness, that there were many instances in which I almost opted to take the easy way out—the favorite course of action of cowards in this world—to just escape or give in and allow that vicious, vile, gargantuan monster to make me as flat as he could make me on the ground. I am grateful to the Great, Supreme Being above…for He sent me angels just right before I thought of just letting things swallow me.
II. THE SERIES OF FORTUITOUS EVENTS
A.) Sometime in October.
It was semester break and I was so relieved that I survived my first semester in law school. I was planning on how to use my relatively short vacation to do productive things…and then I received a call from my Mom.
She informed me of my father’s health conditions. He wasn’t well. That call just made my world crumble into debris. I really prayed hard that it was all just a bad dream…that I would wake up, hyperventilating and thanking God that it was just an ugly movie that played behind my closed eyes. BUT…whether I liked it or not, I had to face the excruciating truth. I was within the ambit of reality. I didn’t know how to exist within that space.
It affected me so much especially my focus in school. I just lost it all…I lost myself in a pool of questions—questions that reflected my fear, anger and frustration. What’s going to happen to him? Will he be alright? Why…of all people in this world…why my father? What wrong has he done in this life? What’s going to happen to my family? What will happen to me? What’s the use of all this studying if the person who inspired me to be here might go any moment?
For some time, I really did lose my concentration on my studies. I couldn’t absorb whatever it was that I was reading. My brain wasn’t the absorbent sponge that it used to be. It turned into a gabi leaf, with so much cuticle on its epidermis, it refused to sop up a drop of water into itself and just let it slide down gently.
It took so much reflecting and brooding before I could accept the truth of my father’s health problem. Accepting negative happenings in our lives is a process. It takes time. Mine did take some time. And I thought that my quandary would end there. Just before I could breathe without labor, another predicament unfolded freshly before my eyes…
B.) Sometime in January.
I was just recuperating from all that transpired regarding my father and some other problems, which I do not wish to speak about. I was readying myself for the mid-term exams when my younger sister fell ill.
She first had this very high fever that one could fry an egg on her forehead. That’s a ridiculous description but that was how “hot” she was (literally, you guys. No double entendre here, OK?). For about a week, she stayed with me down stairs and I took care of her with my older sister. We brought her to the clinic and they did some lab tests on her. We waited for the results for about two days. And then…
I was in school, waiting for my 7 PM class when my older sister SMSed me and said that we had to bring my younger sister to the hospital because her blood platelet count was very low. My Mom called me up and she was going ballistic. I had to rush home and bring her to the hospital.
I didn’t even have time to change my uniform when I arrived home; we had to immediately bring her to the hospital. When we got there, the attending physicians told us that they’re observing her and looking for any symptoms of dengue.
I stayed at the hospital for three days. It is difficult to watch over someone ill confined at the hospital because one has to keep an eye on the patient almost all the time, with no sleep or rest. To this, anyone who has experienced taking care of someone ill can attest. But what made it way more difficult than it already was for me is that I had a pending exam in Criminal Law 2. I tried my best to juggle both two exacting responsibilities, but I guess my “family-first” instinct prevailed at that time. I felt that I was given two extreme choices and I had to be unselfish. I just had to do what any prudent man would. I also knew the consequences of such choice—I knew that the results of my exam wouldn’t be so good. Nevertheless, I comforted myself by reciting to myself that family is the most important thing in this world. And I did not (and do not) regret the decision that I’ve made though I accepted its consequences rather bitterly and ungracefully.
C.) Latter part of January.
I had to face the consequences of that choice I made—that one I mentioned earlier. It pained me so much. I just wanted to drown in a deep, dark ocean and be forgotten by those who knew of my existence. I felt like I was the stupidest person in this WWW (whole wide world).
I took an FX going home that night. I was at the backseat and I cried like I never had before. The situation was worsened by the fact that I had to cry silently and suppress my urge to cry out loud and as freely as I could. But I had to mind the people in the car so I just dove my face into my folded arms and let my tears drip like a soundless waterfall (if there is such a thing). “…nobody knew the pain I was going through…” That’s a line from a Carpenters’ song and it best depicted the whole situation that I was in.
The whole thing was painful in itself but the pain was exacerbated by the fact that I felt like nobody was there for me and that no one could understand me. No one could say something to blow the dark clouds away and allow sunlight to touch my face. I felt like I was all alone. At some point, I felt that I was betrayed because I was always there for everybody whom I care for…and when it was my time to grieve, there was nobody that could help me carry the load on my shoulders. It’s not that they deliberately opted not to be there for me…I just thought that my burden was too heavy that I didn’t want to share it with them. I just, perhaps, didn’t want to bother anybody. I thought that nobody could understand me.
But I was wrong. My very close friend, my “library” mate, Lynette, was there. We’d go to the big, red couches located at the 6th floor of the library and she’d just listen to me while I poured out my heart to her. Just having somebody listen to me whine like a bereaved wife is something that I consider a gift, which any friend could extend at times like those. My heartfelt thanks to Lynette for always being there when I need someone to just listen to me. J
My other friends too were there, even “virtually”. Their encouraging words helped me see negative things in a positive lens.
And of course, I am so grateful for having a professor like Atty. Gorospe. He said EVERYTHING that I needed to hear at that precise moment. Like what I said in my previous post, it was as if “God spoke through him.” It was really his words of wisdom that enlightened my mind and heart again, to think positively. It was his words that made me take the first step to move on from that “academic tragedy”, pat the dust off my butt and fight once more. There’s a very remote chance that you might get to read this, Sir. Nevertheless, I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to you. I not only consider you as a professor but a mentor. And like I said, I will inculcate those pieces of advice in my heart until I finally reach the finish line of this journey. J
And how can I forget my parents? They didn’t have to do much…all they had to do was to speak to me…just hearing their voices was a guarantee that everything would be alright.
D.) Early part of February.
You think the drama is over? Na-ah-ah! You guessed wrong.
Well, let me incorporate some comedy here so that you won’t be satiated with too much tearjerkers. Before the “main event” for this month happened (on the same night that it took place), two really irritatingly funny things happened to me.
I was in school and went to the CR before my last class. I was carrying with me my book (I have this habit of reading while going to the CR). Before I entered the cubicle, a friend was there and she was teasing me about something. I placed my book on the shelf just above the john to respond to her. After I did, I was about to take a pee when I saw the most horrible thing that could ever happen to a NERD like me—MY BOOK FELL IN THE TOILET BOWL!!! I screamed like I’ve just seen a flying cockroach or something! My friends took a peek and they were laughing festively at the sight! I went to another cubicle and did my thing. When I came out, my friends were trying to comfort me but I was so pissed off at the whole world I unconsciously pushed them aside! They thought that I was mad at them—no, I was damn mad at myself for being so stupid and clumsy.
When I got home, I found my younger sister alone. “Where are the others?” I asked. “They brought Kuya to the hospital. He had difficulty breathing.” I thought it wasn’t anything major so I grabbed something to eat. I barely had a bite of whatever it was that I was about to munch when my Mom called me, crying frantically, telling me that my brother was in the ER! I had to rush to the hospital where they were. It was 10:30 PM.
When I arrived there, my sisters said that the doctors would do an X-ray on him. We waited…and waited…and waited until 2 hours had already passed and my brother was giving more effort to breathe. We all went insanely mad at the hospital staff and decided to bring him to another hospital. I even fought with the guard and some of the hospital staff there because they were asking me if we had already paid as we went out of the ER. “YES! YES! My sister is there inside, paying, you good-for-nothing mother*uckers! That’s what you all care about, money when you haven’t lifted a finger to attend to my brother?!” They got scared so they scoured inside like small children who received berating from their mother.
It was midnight when we got to the other hospital. I was so exhausted and sleepy for I hadn’t had any sleep the night before. So while the physicians attended to my brother, I went out to buy some coffee to perk me up and at least stay awake for 2 or 3 hours more. On my way back, I heard a lady’s voice and I deemed that she was addressing her question to me. She was speaking in Tagalog but I think she was asking about the time coz I heard the word “oras”. The place was people-less. It was quite dark, the wind menacingly chilly. I looked back and there she was—an old lady. She’s a taong grasa or those homeless people loitering the streets. I could tell from the way she looked—unruly hair, grimy face and hands and tattered clothes. Fear overtook me so I walked away from her and took faster steps. This seemed to have irked her as she started shouting. I heard her voice, getting louder and coming closer. I looked back at her and she was running towards me, holding up the beer bottle as if to strike me! I gave a loud scream and ran as fast as my legs would carry me!
Unfortunately, my legs weren’t able to do so. I think I exerted too much force when I took the first step to run that I injured my left knee! (Until now, it hurts for I haven’t had time to let it rest). I ended up dragging myself to the ER entrance. Luckily, I was able to reach it without being harmed. I was on the ground when I got there. What’s funny was the nurses standing by thought that I was a new patient. They all came out to help me and one of them was shouting to the others, “Get a wheelchair! A stretcher!” My sister came out and she was laughing at the sight! “No, no. She’s my sister, she’s with me watching over our brother. She’s not a new patient.” Nevertheless, those guys helped me stand up. When I got in, roars of laughter greeted me. It was embarrassing but I’d rather be embarrassed than be chased by that old lady! Hmph!
My brother was released at around 4 AM. God, it was such a day. I don’t even know what adjective to use to describe it.
E.) A day after the Old-Lady/Taong Grasa chasing incident.
The following day, I went to school with my injured knee. I came in late for my 12 PM class. I went inside limping and my professor was laughing, telling me to just buy a hospital for I was becoming a patron. He asked me why I was limping and I related what happened that night. The whole class turned into a bunch of laughing hyenas.
No, the story didn’t end there yet. That night, while studying for my classes for the following day, I ate this custard cake. After consuming it, I started feeling weak. I thought it was just exhaustion from all the things that transpired so I went to sleep. I woke up 3 AM, feeling so bad. My whole body ached—the kind of body pain that you get when you have a fever. I felt so lethargic. And then I had to suddenly run to the CR. I vomited what seemed like everything that I ate and drank during my 21 years of existence. I was food poisoned and the culprit was that stupid little custard cake.
I planned to go to school that day but my body couldn’t bear to even sit up. So I had no choice but to stay home and sleep…the whole day. Well, it was a blessing in disguise for I at least got the much needed rest I yearned for the longest time.
III. THE DECONSTRUCTION
After all that’s happened, I was left with certain questions: Why did those problems have to happen practically consecutively? Wasn’t one of them major enough to test my strength, faith and character? Wasn’t one of them sufficient to teach me a lesson or two? Was there anything that I’ve done to deserve any of those?
I have to admit that I was depressed all throughout that period. There were times that I couldn’t do anything but stare at the empty space and think about nothing. I just wanted to escape or take a train bound nowhere…and just keep on going and going and going. It didn’t matter where it would take me—for as long as it could take me as far away from reality as it could. That was all that I ever wanted to do during those trying times.
Writing Finis: The Lessons Learned
And then I realized and seemed to have found the answer to that question. I realized that God gave me a series of problems because:
First, I refused to learn the lesson that He wanted me to the first time He hit me with a major problem and that is to NEVER EVEN THINK OF GIVING UP no matter how difficult or arduous things might get. I showed signs of weakness, by becoming semi-neglectful to my studies and so He hit me with another one. I did the same thing again and so He kept on throwing me those problems until I realized His purpose for doing such and the lesson that He wanted me to learn. He wanted me to learn how not to lose my focus on my studies even when I’m confronted with huge problems so that the next time that obstacles would come my way, I would know how to get around them without having to compromise my studies.
Second, He’s molding me to become a stronger person (stronger than I already am) because, as my professor put it, I am “destined to face not-so-ordinary things in your career and life in general.” Great power comes with great responsibilities. Well, I do not assume that I can do extra-ordinary things. It is not me per se who can do things of that kind—it is God’s will that wrote my fate to be doing things of that kind. And those things that I could do are not just for the purpose of putting me on a pedestal or to brag about them…but precisely to help other people in ways that God will reveal to me when those days do come. This might sound like some way to comfort myself but I refuse to believe that I’m just making this up to make myself feel better or stay sane. I believe that everything that God allows to happen in our lives has a GOOD REASON—not just for some reason. And I firmly believe that this is the reason—that God is thickening my skin and preparing me for bigger battles that not everyone could face—that breathes life into all the not-for-young-people problems that God made me go through even in my delicately younger years. I am happy, at least, to know that God seems to have TRUSTED me to accomplish tasks in life that He didn’t trust others with. To have Him trust you is indeed a great gift.
I know in my heart that this law school thing is not just something that I have to finish for self-serving purposes, prestige or for my parents’ happiness. Those are all part of it but then it’s something more than that, at least for me. From the very beginning, I knew that this is a challenge, a journey that I have to undertake for a lot of things depend on it. I cannot elaborate much on that point but…yeah, this journey, for me, is not just about becoming a lawyer. It’s about becoming more than that, it’s a life-learning journey in which I have to inculcate both in my mind and heart every little piece of lesson I learn from it (of course, aside from the laws and jurisprudence that I learn in class) precisely because there’s a bigger task that awaits to be accomplished by me after I successfully finish the journey of becoming a lawyer. I believe that God Himself has set that for me. And so it is but appropriate that He arm me with the right weapons—strength, faith, hope and optimism—that will enable me to undertake whatever task He has designed for me.
Third, He wants me to be closer to Him. I think that among all the myriad of lessons that He wants me to learn, this is the most important. I admit that there are times that I withdraw myself from Him, consciously or inadvertently, especially when everything around me is bright, flamboyant and smiling. I know that I should learn to keep Him close to my heart not only during trying times but also at moments when I am swimming in an ocean of blessings. Always be humble, in the true sense of the word, and grateful, that’s what He wants me to be at all times of my existence.
Fourth, He wants to remind me that every problem that He created for us has a solution. I guess that in every problem that we encounter, we just have to clear our minds and start thinking about what solution we can come up with to resolve such problem. My mistake in all that happened was I cried over them for some time instead of immediately seeking for resolutions. It was quite late before I told myself, “Hey, instead of crying over what happened, why don’t you just get on and see what’s the best thing you can do to resolve them?” I think that I did contribute to the “personal” problem I had. I allowed those other problems to affect me. I used them to justify my semi-irresponsibility and to reduce my focus on my studies to 80%. That should not have been the case. Well, at least I now know what to do the next time I’m faced with colossal problems and that is to never let them affect my journey of becoming a lawyer. NEVER AGAIN.
Finally, He wants to show me that life can be understood by just observing the alternation of night and day. That’s what it is—it is analogous to such alternation. Nothing in this world is permanent. Everything comes and goes. One minute we’re at the zenith, another minute we’re at Mariana’s Trench. It’s a cycle that goes on and on and never ends until we finally expire. And that cyclic process doesn’t just happen as a matter of life’s routine—it’s not something mechanical. It happens for a reason. And what’s that reason? That in that process, we pick up lessons that will make us better persons in all aspects of life…so that when we meet Him, we are what He wants us to be…for is it not that this world is but an avenue for us to be tested by Him before we get to His Heavenly Abode?
IV. MANIFESTATIONS OF GOD’S PRESENCE AND HIS ANGELS
During those trying times, I’ve always felt God’s presence in the things around me. The last one, I consider a miracle. It’s something that reverted my focus back to reaching the end of the finish line of my “law school” journey with flying colors. Here’s what happened.
It was a morose Friday night and I was on my way home, depressed and on the verge of giving up. While waiting for the jeepney which I take, an old man looked at me as if he knew me. He approached me and asked, “You’re the lady I see taking the same ride in Quiapo?” I answered affirmatively. He was also taking the same jeepney that night so when one finally came, we both boarded the same.
“Are you taking up law?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“UST.”
“What year are you in now?”
“First year.”
He then asked me about my subjects, who my professors are etc. It gave me hint that he might be a lawyer so I asked him.
“No. But I finished a law course. I first took it at MLQU and transferred to FEU. The great Neptali Gonzales was my classmate,” he said. I saw in his face that he had fond memories of those bygone days.
“I took the bar but didn’t pass. I never took it again,” he said, laughing.
“Well, you study hard. Don’t give up on your dream of becoming a lawyer. You’ll be a great lawyer, I can see that. It fits you,” he said, like a grandfather.
That really put a smile on my face. I couldn’t say anything but thank you. “When you do become a lawyer one day, I’ll hire you OK?” he said, laughing again.
In the course of our conversation, I learned that he is a Maranao like me. He is of the Tamano clan and he happens to be the uncle of candidate for Senator, Atty. Adel Tamano of the Genuine Opposition Party. I told him that I have friends who are of the Tamano family in Jeddah and those friends I mentioned to him are all his nieces/nephews. Before we took separate ways at the terminal, he asked me why I wanted to become a lawyer. “Well, aside from the fact that it’s my father’s dream for me, I would like to be of help to the Muslim community…and to everyone that I could be of help.” “Masha’allah (praise God). Keep that goal in mind, child.”
That encounter was a miracle in itself. At that very moment that I thought of just giving up (because it seemed that a lot of obstacles were being thrown at my way, impeding me from realizing my dream), God sends me a total stranger, who tells me all the things that I needed to hear! Indeed, God’s angels are not always in overall-white clothing and with wings. They’re just among us and God chooses the right person who will be our angels during difficult times.
And this is just one of the things that God wants to remind me of—that He is always near us. And that should be a reason for all of us not to fear or lose hope because He is always—truly—walking beside us in the intricate pathways of our lives.
V. CONCLUSION
Life is beautiful, despite all the difficulties attached to it. We should all not give up hope; we should always meet challenges with courage, faith and hope that we can breeze through them. And we always do, in God’s grace.
Life is a mind game, indeed. It is what it is depending on how one sees it. I admit that I did look at those series of fortuitous events the way they were—ugly and distasteful. But in the end, I was able to accomplish the task that inheres in every problem—to see the beautiful side of it. The problem per se is difficult but looking for the “silver lining” is harder. That, to me, is the determinant whether one wins or loses the battle. And adducing from that, I can fairly say that somehow I won.
People who might be reading this might feel sorry for me. They must be thanking God for not being faced with similar problems. Well, I must say that they have all the right to be grateful, even to pity me. But you know what? I have all the more reason to be thankful to God. And why is that? Because as early as now and as young as I am, He is already making me face problems that are not normally meant for people my age. And what do I get from that? Well, I’m already trained to confront these kinds of problems and I won’t have much difficulty handling similar ones—even more difficult ones—in the future, God willing, precisely because I’ve become a stronger person. And yes, like I noted earlier, He trusts me enough to do and tackle bigger tasks in life, such trust He possibly denied others. And boy does that make me feel privileged and special! J
VI. RECOMMENDATION
So to every one of you out there, whenever you’re faced with a problem don’t look at it pessimistically. That will do you no good. Just think that God is sculpting you to become better, stronger person. Don’t dwell on the negative side of things; don’t look at things superficially. That’s the challenge in every problem we’re faced with—to find the beauty that it hides deep beneath its spiteful exterior. And when you finally do see it and you learn the lesson that God wants to teach you, you’ll find yourself basking in the sunshine again. A caveat though—
always keep in mind that the sun will set again. But don’t despair on that thought…just always keep yourself armed with the lessons that you learned from the past.
Finding Nessie
I have two choices–it’s either I cry over spilt milk or I stop staring at blank space and start picking up the pieces. The former is much easier to do…but what will I get from it? While the latter is so much harder to do…but it’s the lesser evil of the two, I guess. It’s what’s best for me and for everyone.
Sunday…today, bloody Sunday. I tried reading in constitutional law…but things wouldn’t just get into my head. My brain was like a sponge that absorbed water effortlessly and the "unidentified thing" that’s triggered my morose mood was the hand that squeezed every drop of water that my spongy brain had just absorbed. That’s how I exactly felt this morning. So I stopped reading.
I lay down, thinking…what am I so sad about? Given the so myriad of not-so-good things that took in just short span, I really couldn’t point out which one was making everything about me moribund.
I just felt so stupid. I was afraid that I may not be able to do what I’m supposed to do. I was scared that I might fail my parents, I might not be able to make them proud of me. I was terrified that I might not be able to find the old me. I was scared that I might have lost her forever…that I would never be the same person again–strong, unafraid to face challenges…a fighter, someone that people rely on…I was scared of being WEAK. I didn’t want to be that the rest of my life.
The clock struck 12AM…still, I hadn’t done anything productive. And it made me feel guilty beyond reasonable doubt…it made me feel a lot worse. So I just got up from bed where I lay practically the whole day and decided to take a shower. While in the shower…I thought, what will this do to me? How will this help me? How will crying and being depressed help me make up for what happened? NADA! The wiser part of me emerged suddenly and admonished: Instead of crying over spilt milk, why don’t you just clean up the mess, try to do your best, make up for your shortcomings and emerge as the victor in the end? You don’t want to be the vanquished in the end, do you? You are smart, you are not stupid, you are capable of doing great things, you can be somebody that everyone will respect, you can make your parents proud, you have the potential to be a great somebody someday! So don’t waste your future by just sulking and sniveling in one corner! What happened is definitely not your fault, they were "unfortuitous events" that you couldn’t have foreseen, they were out of your control so stop blaming your self! Your only fault is that you allowed those things to affect you! So stop being a drama queen there, forget everything, past is past and get your a** back to work! Yes, Sir, I will!
God, help me pick up the pieces and let me be strong again.
Crash and burn All the stars explode tonight How'd you get so desperate? How'd you stay alive? Help me please Burn the sorrow from your eyes Oh come on, be alive again Don't lay down and die Hey hey, you know what to do Oh baby, drive away to Malibu Get well soon Please don't go any higher How are you so burned when you're barely on fire? Cry to the angels I'm gonna rescue you I'm gonna set you free tonight, baby Pour over me Hey hey, we're all watching you Oh baby, fly away to Malibu Cry to the angels That swallow you Go and part the sea, yeah, in Malibu And the sun goes down I watch you slip away And the sun goes down I walk into the waves And the sun goes down I watch you slip away And I walk And I knew love would tear you apart Oh, and I knew the darkest secret of your heart Hey hey, I'm gonna follow you Oh baby, fly away, yeah, to Malibu Oceans of angels Oceans of stars Down by the sea is where you drown your scars I can't be near you The light just radiates I can't be near you The light just radiates
*Love this song. I feel nostalgic...
reminds me of the good old days in HS...
when I discovered that I'm a rocker at heart!
Hahaha! Love Courtney Love, totally!
True Love :)
I have always professed my love for law school. And I shall do the same in this post.
My relationship with law school is somewhat analogous to a real-life marriage. I’ve been through elation and hell with it; most of the time, I suffered cuts and bruises–mentally and emotionally. Nevertheless, I still love it despite all that. Is that not the essence of true love?
Law school taught me a lot of things that I, perhaps, might never learn outside its four walls. There’s just too many of them to be listed here. But the ones that deserve mention are the values of perseverance, patience, time, acceptance, humility and faith in God. Almost all values that make one’s existence translated to actual "living", I learned in law school. It certainly has molded me into a better, stronger person and it continues to do so.
I may have my downs with law school (it’s inevitable in all kinds of relationships), but I will never severe our relationship for as long as God will permit its continuance. Inshaallah.
I will fight till the very end…till my dreams take the life of reality, concrete, true and not only imaginary or anticipatory 
The Sun will rise…and certainly set again.
It’s funny how we can be the best advisers or counsellors to others when they’re facing tumultuous problems, yet we can’t be the same to ourselves when it’s our turn to face our own problems.
When it comes to my loved ones and my friends, I can give the best advice in the world and it’s almost a miracle how it lights up that morose phase of their lives. And when it comes to myself, there are instances in which I can assure myself that everything would be alright, that I can breeze through without a scratch. But this past few weeks have been hellish. I couldn’t face things on my own. I was totally lost in a vast ocean of problems, not knowing how to get back to the shore. I was drowning; I was trying to keep my head out of the water, desperately kicking to keep myself afloat. But the underwater gravity was too strong for my battered body and mind to fight. I needed someone this time…I could have died any minute.
Thank God my parents were there. Their voices were all that I needed to hear. My friends, they also extended a hand to pull me out of the deep, dark ocean…
And then…there’s my professor. The things that he told me made me see things clearly again…it illuminated the gloomy surrounding. It was as if God spoke through him.
I’m OK now…I reverted back to my positive mindset. And I’m trying to get back on my feet, fight back and win the battle in the end.
Like what my Mom said…life is like the alternation of day and night. One can never expect to be in the same place for the rest of his life. He goes through both sides of life until he dies. Indeed, this worldly life is not perfect. Perfect elation, happiness and peace can only be found in Allah’s Kingdom.
I now believe what I have always been telling my friends–that problems happen not only for a reason but for a GOOD REASON. I may not know why I have to go through that shitty stage of my life but I know that God will reveal to me the reasons later on and make me understand. Certainly there are so many lessons to be learned from what happened. Indeed, He knows what’s best for us so we should never question His will.
Ya Allah. Alhamdullillah. I know the sun will rise again.
