Let the alarm clock ring till he goes deaf.
Wake Up Call
Hayden Panettiere
woo hoo hooo
woo hoo hooo
You don’t buy me flowers
You don’t buy me drinks
You don’t drive me anywhere
but totally insane
We used to talk for hours
until the night was through
but recently your ego
is going through the roof
Maybe you need a wake up call
Cos’ you’re too comfortable
You think because you’ve bagged me
You don’t have to work at all
It seems like I gotta do wrong
to get your attention
but maybe when i call this man up
you’ll finally start to wake up
I think i’m gonna have to cheat
to keep your eyes on me
but maybe if i make you jealous
you’ll finally start to wake up
This is your wake up call
this is your wake up call
so wake up
wake up
you better wake up
You’re underestimating
the kinda chick i am
cos’ I don’t have a problem
finding someone else
I’ll put my little black dress on
and go out to the clubs
And you wonder whats going on
tomorrow when your boys tell you
I was dancing with someone
Maybe you need a wake up call
you’re way too comfortable
You think because you’ve bagged me
You don’t have to work at all
It seems like I gotta do wrong
to get your attention
but maybe when i call this man up
you’ll finally start to wake up
I think i’m gonna have to cheat
to keep your eyes on me
but maybe if i make you jealous
you’ll finally start to wake up
This is your wake up call
this is your wake up call
so wake up
wake up
you better wake up
You’re taking me for granted
Boy you’re really slacking
If I see somebody I like I’ma have to grab ‘em
Time is running out but
you need to do me right so
I’ma get mine back
You better wake up
It seems like I gotta do wrong
to get your attention
but maybe when i call this man up
you’ll finally start to wake up
I think i’m gonna have to cheat
to keep your eyes on me
but maybe if i make you jealous
you’ll finally start to wake up
This is your wake up call
this is your wake up call
so wake up (seems like i got it all wrong)
wake up
you better wake up
This is your wake up call
this is your wake up call
so wake up
wake up
you better wake up
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As if I’m a love guru, I always get asked by friends: How do you keep the fire burning in relationships and marriages?
I don’t know, amigas. Or maybe I can ask my Mom and Dad who’ve stayed married for 36 years already! (Masha’allah!) 
I love you Mommy and Daddy!
Break this monotony.
Sometimes I don’t feel loved for who I am.
Sometimes I feel insecure.
Sometimes I don’t feel appreciated.
Sometimes I feel that I’m being taken for granted.
Sometimes I don’t feel respected.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t get listened to.
Sometimes i feel like my emotions are disregarded.
Sometimes I feel unhappy.
Sometimes I get so bored.
Sometimes I get fed-up and satiated with the routine.
Sometimes I want to scream and break all this monotony.
Sometimes I just want to be free.
And in all those times, love tells me:
“Stay, dear.”
But for how long can I endure this monotony?
Happy no more?
Finally…the exams are OVER. The relief is only temporary though. I’ll be worrying the whole summer if I passed all my subjects, especially Torts (Atty. Ulep) and Special Proceedings under Dean Ortega. =(
The whole school year was, to me, like a forced, tiring march. I still want to become a lawyer and all that but I lost the drive to excel in my studies. I feel like whatever I do, I’ll never be able to be like I was before. I have succumbed to my fate. I’m now happy with getting passing marks in my subjects. I know what my brain is capable of doing. I don’t need numbers to tell me that I’m not dumb. And I don’t need people telling me “You’re not doing well.” FUCK OFF.
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I’ll be doing my OJT this summer. Ever since I was in my first year, I’ve always looked forward to it. I just feel like I will do better when I do the real, lawyering job already. I think I’d be able to think freely regarding some issues when I do the real job…unlike in the classroom setup, you’re confined to what your professor tells you or what the Supreme Court says. Just thinking of having that kind of freedom excites me.
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Is it normal to feel unappreciated or not loved the way you are? Is it just me? Or is it for real?
Yesterday, I was feeling so low about myself. I just felt so unapprecaited…with all the sacrifices I’m making and the risks I’m taking…the troubles I’m willing to put myself through…I don’t feel like others appreciate it much. *sigh* I felt so unhappy being around other people. There was so much going on in my head that I suddenly burst into tears. I just didn’t want to elaborate it with others who were around because they’re just going to tell me that I was doing too much drama again. So I just chose to be silent about it.
*sigh* I don’t know….there are just times that I feel so unhappy about things. And I’m too afraid to say it because I’m not certain if it’s how I truly feel or if it’s just a phase. I don’t know…Please guide me, ya Allah.
An Ode to My Few True Friends
“It is so hard to find true friends,” I lamented one time to a girl pal of mine.
“Yeah,” she sighed, echoing my sentiment.
It is, indeed. There are some people who befriend you to serve their selfish interests. Ah, I’ve come across this type so many times. I used to be so trusting and welcoming to others. I used to have this “I’ll give them a chance” mindset about people, especially those rumored to be evil in one way or another. But I’ve been used and burned so much by these people that I have now created a wall between me and the rest of the world. I’m not going to let them abuse me anymore.
True friends…they are indeed hard to find. You can’t even find one from your own relatives. It is like finding a needle in a huge haystack.
But I’m still lucky that I managed to find a few of them, namely Paula, Angel (Ms. Johnelyn Gemzon) and Pretty Haiyes. (I miss them so much!) They never left me even when everybody believed I was worth abandoning. I love them so much…and I am so grateful that they are (and will always be) part of my life. Thank you girls for being such true friends. I love you and I will defend you with my life should the situation call for it.
And recently, I found a true friend in the person of Lea. She is just someone I can count on all the time. She’s always been there for me. I can tell her anything without fearing that I’d be judged. She helps me get through the day. She keeps me sane in crazy situations. I love you, Lea. Thank you for coming to my life and for being one of my few truest friends.
The Helpless and the Landless
One night, I was on board a jeepney, on my way home after my late night classes. When the jeepney reached Taft Avenue, the traffic jam got so bad that it practically murdered all vehicular movement on the road. To distract me from letting my impatience sink in (and add to my already skyrocketing level of stress and blood pressure), I took out a bottle of soda and a bag of chips which I had bought earlier. As I was about to open them, a small boy got on board and strated distributing small envelopes to the passengers. The lady on my right side made some irritated remark and immediately returned the envelope to the boy (she practically threw it back at him.) Upset, the boy sat for a while and begged the passengers for coins. I looked at him…and what I saw broke my heart.
He was so thinly, grimy and fragile. He spoke in a very soft voice. His face bore of suffering and despair…hopelessness. And he reminded me of my little brother when he was younger (yes, because he is now a grown man, sporting some facial hair.)
I took the envelope he gave me and inserted a P50 bill. I handed it to him, with my soda and chips. He thanked me. I smiled back and looked away…because my eyes started to well up with tears.
As the jeepney moved, he got off…and started roaming the streets again with his feet bare…
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It really breaks my heart when I see children on the streets especially during late at night, begging for food and money. It saddens me because that’s not normal, that’s not in consonance with the order of nature. Children, at past 11 PM, should alredy be in their beds, preparing for school the next day. But these street children are roaming around the streets, knocking on every car window and begging for alms. What’s sadder than this is the fact that, in this country, seeing these children is what has become normal. And what’s even sadder is that, because it has become the normalcy in our surrounding, people have stopped talking or discussing about it. Poverty in this country has become so rampant that people have become immune to its “saddening” or “moving” effect (I bet the lady I mentioned in the aboverelated story has acquired such immunity). Very few people talk about issues like this one nowadays. And very few too do something about it. Perhaps, immersed in their own problems, they choose to talk about Kris Aquino and her latest scandalous encounter as a diversion from their own troubles. This is, indeed, more saddening than the fact of poverty abounding in our midst.
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This afternoon, our Social Legislation and Agrarian Reform professor, Atty. Dellosa, made us watch (”made” here does not translate to “forced”…at least, on my part) a documentary about the plight of the land-deprived farmers in the country. The first part showed the protest march of the Sumilao farmers, walking from Bukidnon all the way to Manila (see Philippine map to approximate how far Bukidnon is from Manila). It showed the hardships they underwent while walking on their way to Manila. The second part depicts the struggle of the Negros farmers who went to Manila, put up a camp in front of the Department of Agrarian Reform and, inspired by Gandhi, staged a hungerstrike for a month. In both cases, the farmers got what they were asking for from the government.
OK, so what are they protesting about, you ask?
You see, upon the colonization of the Philippines by the Spaniards, the Filipinos were systematically deprived of their lands. When sovereignty shifted from the Spanish Crown to the U.S. by virtue of the Treaty of Paris, efforts were made by the U.S. government to give lands back to the Filipino people. The programs, however, failed to achieve its objective. The Philippine government, with the different administrations that took over, also introduced land reform programs but the same didn’t do much. (For if it did, we wouldn’t have stories like that of the Sumilao farmers, would we?) It was during the Aquino administration that the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law (CARL) was passed. Its main objective was to give “land to the landless”. Under the said law, a certain portion of the land of landlords with huge tracts of lands, shall be given to the tenant-farmers who till such lands. It doesn’t take one to be a lawyer or even a law student to pinpoint where the problem here arises–as a natural reaction, landlords vehemently refuse to give up their CARP(rogram)-covered lands. Their resistance is so fierce that they resort to lawlessness and violence–they kill the tenant-farmers who are to be the beneficiaries of their lands. The documentary showed how two of the hungerstrikers were shamelessly shot upon their return to their hometown by the guards of the owner of the land, that bastard Robert “Bob” Cuenca. Agrarian reform disputes like this are the the reason why these farmers are protesting.
Because of these problems, some of which arise out of the loopholes of the CARL itself, the farmers continue to fight for what is rightfully theirs under the law. They call for the passage of an agrarian reform law with “reforms” as the previous one, laden with loopholes, certainly failed to reach its goal in giving land to the landless.
But passing such law is not easy as most of the country’s legislators are landed persons themselves. Definitely, if every they would enact a new agrarian reform law, they would not be guided by the plight and interest of the tenant-farmers but by their own vested interests. Under this setting, how can you expect the enactment of an agrarian reform law with genuine “reforms”, a law sincerely crafted to protect the rights and interests of these poor tenant-farmers?
What I don’t understand is…why cannot these landlords be compassionate enough to these underprivileged farmers and just give the portion of their land to them (tenant-farmers)? I mean, haven’t they had so much of this world already? Well, like my Mom would say in Maranao, di kawnsran (cannot be satiated).Greed, indeed, is a virtue of Satan.
Going back to the documentary showing.
I got teary-eyed while watching the stories of the farmers unravelling before my eyes. You would have to have a stone for a heart if you would not be moved.
It was also nice that four (4) of the farmers (from different provinces) were invited to be part of the showing to put faces in their sturggle to have lands of their own to till and reap the fruits of their labor, without having to give anything to unscrupuolusly greedy landlords.
At then end of the documentary showing and the open forum, I had my picture taken with the farmers. I shook their hands and told them I’ll be praying for them…for now, that’s perhaps one of the most I could do for them. I hope and pray that when I do become a lawyer, I would be able to use my knowledge of the law in helping the oppressed and the marginalized sector achieve a better life, in effecting positive changes in our society, in our country.
